Bitchin' Film Reviews
Bitchin' Film Reviews
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reviewed Galaxina. April 01
posted in Movie Hype
Galaxina
BARBARELLA.  FLESH GORDON.  CHERRY 2000.  HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN.  The more pulpy sci-fi films never shy away from taking advantage of female attributes.  Heck, George Lucas threw in Princess Leia in a metal bikini as a way of paying homage to sci-fi singular fascination with the female form.  Even Walt Disney’s JOHN CARTER didn’t shy away from parading the …
reviewed Robinson Crusoe on Mars - Criterion C.... April 01
posted in Movie Hype
Robinson Crusoe on Mars - Criterion Collection
This is no joke: as a huge fan of science fiction films, I’d heard plenty about ROBINSON CRUSOE ON MARS throughout the years.  The simple truth of the matter is that I’d just never gotten around to watching it.  It hadn’t popped up on my TV guide in years; and although it showed as a title available at my corner video store the flick never seemed to be in.  Perhaps …
reviewed Firefly - The Complete Series (2002). February 24
posted in Pass The Remote!
Firefly - The Complete Series (2002)
First off, let me assure you this: I’m no fanboy who slobbers over all things Joss Whedon.  I don’t dislike the man, nor do I dislike his work.  I have a healthy respect for anyone who can work as long in the entertainment business as Whedon has and still have a regular job doing what he does; it’s just that I – like the rest of society – just don’t necessarily …
reviewed Alpha and Omega (2010 movie). February 18
posted in Movie Hype
Alpha and Omega (2010)
It’s been almost 3-years to the day since the film’s DVD release (1/11/2011) that I finally dug through my animated film queue deep enough to give Alpha and Omega its due.  The reason for the delay? Well for one, abundant negative reviews surrounding this piece.  A quick search reveals no shortage of critics, professional and amateur alike, willing to slam this movie in just …
reviewed Ninja Cheerleaders. February 04
posted in Movie Hype
Ninja Cheerleaders
This movie was awful. I was hoping it would be so much better than it was. With a name like "Ninja Cheerleaders" I was thinking it would be a homerun. Also to add to my heartache and dismay, these girls were also strippers. So they were ninjas, cheerleaders and strippers.....and the movie still sucked.      First things first, a pet peeve of mine is when strippers in …
reviewed High Lane. February 04
posted in Movie Hype
High Lane
“High Lane” is a French horror movie made in 2009 about five people who go hiking/mountain climbing in the mountains of Croatia. I am not certain if the movie was indeed shot and filmed in Croatia, but the scenery was quite breath taking. I guess this is a good of time as any to say the dubbing in the film isn’t that bad, not great, but not bad. Anyway, out of the five folks involved, …
reviewed Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy. January 21
posted in Movie Hype
Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy
I’m ashamed to admit this – mostly because I’m such a huge fan of horror films in general – but I don’t recall seeing the first NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET in theatres.  Or the second one.  Oh, I’ve seen both films, but my recollection of watching them was on home video.  I may’ve seen them with an audience – I quite probably did – I’m …
reviewed Everyone's Hero (2006). January 04
posted in Movie Hype
Everyone's Hero (2006)
Everyone’s Hero is one of those rare animated features that boasted a pretty hardy theatrical run but slipped onto the DVD scene fairly quietly and slipped into relative obscurity since.  It’s kind of a shame really, because the piece has a lot of heart and it’s delivered in such a manner that children and adults alike can find something to take away from the experience.  …
reviewed Mischief Night. December 30, 2013
posted in Movie Hype
Mischief Night
Fact: the 1980’s were a tremendous boon for the home entertainment industry.  The explosion of VHS brought an incredible influx of properties to the marketplace, and, despite some of what you’ll read about many of these forgotten flicks of yesteryear, several of them were quite good.  It’s been said that the emergence of the digital recorder will inevitable produce the …
reviewed It's a Wonderful Life (1947 movie). December 27, 2013
posted in Movie Hype
It's a Wonderful Life
I looked up the writers of the classic Frank Capra flick It's a Wonderful Life. Capra's name was among them, and when I did some further-depth research about his own life, I was a little surprised to learn that he suffered occasional bouts of depression during an earlier downswing in his younger years. It seemed odd to me because It's a Wonderful Life doesn't come off as anything that could ever have …
reviewed The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978). December 18, 2013
posted in Movie Hype
The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)
"If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that show and smash it."    That was what George Lucas thinks of The Star Wars Holiday Special. Now, go back and read that last sentence again, and take into consideration the fact that the very same person who said that is the very person who later greenlighted the Ewoks, the Howard the Duck movie, and Jar …
reviewed The Little Mermaid. December 09, 2013
posted in Movie Hype
The Little Mermaid (movie)
Okay, here are things that everyone knows: Disney has the world's strongest animation canon. One day, they might end up relinquishing it to Pixar, but Disney comes packed with so much history and longevity that that day is still a little ways off. For seeming eons, Disney animated films were just about the only game in town. Well, around the 70's and 80's, they got a bit too cocky and began producing …
reviewed Shrek the Halls. December 07, 2013
posted in Pass The Remote!
Shrek the Halls
This Christmas special takes place after the events of SHREK THE THIRD. Shrek and Fiona are happily raising their babies, but Donkey keeps bugging Shrek about getting ready for Christmas. Shrek has never celebrated Christmas before and doesn't plan on doing so until he finds out Fiona is looking forward to it and Shrek unexpectedly promises Fiona a Christmas surprise. Shrek races into town on …
reviewed Broken Flowers. December 04, 2013
posted in Movie Hype
Broken Flowers
A man receives an anonymous letter informing him he is the father of a 19-year old son, so he sets off on a journey to visit his old girlfriends to see which one wrote the letter.      Bill Murray stars in this movie which is, at times, funny, pathetic, and shocking but mostly just boring. His character is an unappealing, solitary man who shows no interest or emotion; Murray pretty …
reviewed Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (.... November 29, 2013
posted in Movie Hype
Prince of Persia Sands of Time
Before seeing PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME for the first time, I was already somewhat familiar with the general premise of the story because I had played a couple of video games the movie is based upon. The movie follows prince Dastan (Jake Gyllenhall), the adopted son of King Sharaman (Ronald Pickup). In the aftermath of the invasion of an enemy city, Dastan takes a strange dagger filled with …
reviewed Terminator 2: Judgment Day. November 28, 2013
posted in Movie Hype
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
The Terminator is one of the most iconic characters in popular culture, but his track record is rather bumpy. He had a strong start in a debut movie that is a classic of science fiction. He followed it up with his defining moment in a movie that became a classic across all genres. After that, there were two more movies and a TV show which make the argument for The Terminator existing on a split timeline. …
reviewed Cat's Eye. November 12, 2013
posted in Movie Hype
Movie poster
            CAT'S EYE      I am and have always been a big fan of Stephen King, from the books to the screen and everything in between. So it is no secret that I am a fan of this film. In fact I believe it is one of the most underrated of all the King related films that have been made. This movie featured three different tales all interlocking …
reviewed Rose Red. November 12, 2013
posted in Movie Hype
Rose Red
            ROSE RED      When this miniseries debuted back in 2002 I believe I could not have been happier. Two of my favorite things were coming together, nay, three of my favorite things. Those things were Stephen King [as writer], haunted house [as the story and setting] and Julian Sands [as an actor] who I loved from the first two …
reviewed The Station Agent. November 10, 2013
posted in Movie Hype
The Station Agent
Fin (Peter Dinklage) is a middle-aged train buff and a dwarf who has been ridiculed his whole life and has no friends. He moves into an abandoned train station, ready to spend the rest of his life alone, but slowly forms friendships with a grieving woman (Patricia Clarkson), an outgoing hot dog man (Bobby Cannavale), and a young librarian (Michelle Williams).      What a wonderful …
reviewed Howard the Duck. October 28, 2013
posted in Movie Hype
Howard the Duck
Ooooh, Howard the Duck...an odd choice for Marvel to make for it's first comic to big screen adaption and after it hit the theater like a rotten egg in the mid 80's, I'm surprised that they made it to 99 with X Men.      Even odder was George Lucas as one of the creators of the movie chose this for a movie.  Howard the Duck was a weird 70's comic about a duck …
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Beastly should be considered a romantic flick by the tweener set but fails as a modern-day take on the classic Beauty and the Beast tale.    As the story goes, … more
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